Ten Years of Real Life
Ten years ago, today, in a small(ish) outdoor ceremony in Burns, Tennessee, I said “I do” to the handsome soldier I adored. I had been stressing out the week before due to the days of constant rain that showed no sign of ending. I worried that the rain wouldn’t let up for the ceremony. I feared having to move everything indoors (which I absolutely did not want to do). I worried that, even if the weather did change, I’d be walking down a muddy outdoor “aisle” in my ivory dress and end up ruining it. I worried that people would be unhappy with the location or the weather. I basically worried about everything. When the morning of my wedding day arrived, I woke up and realized I was getting married that day, and nothing else mattered.
The rain did stop. The ground dried up and the weather was beautiful. I was happy. Ridiculously happy.
We got ready in a small cabin and met on a grassy field beside a barn and a water mill. We awkwardly held hands and looked into each other’s eyes for a good three minutes (whispering “Is your mom crying, yet?”) while my dad sang a song by Steven Curtis Chapman. Then we said our vows. It was one of the best decisions I had ever made.
I was young. I had turned 20 just two weeks before. I went into it with rose-colored googly eyes, imagining the perfect and wonderfully romantic life that lay ahead. It was wonderful, and often romantic, but definitely not perfect.
Our first big fight happened a little over a year later. I was pregnant, but didn’t know it yet (hello, hormones) and I didn’t understand why HE was being so insanely unreasonable. We fought about laundry detergent. Yep, you read that right. And it was more like ME fighting about laundry detergent while my husband stared at me in total astonishment. I stormed out of the apartment. He followed. He is not the type to ever let disagreements linger and had to resolve it right then and there. Something I now appreciate.
It was not the perfect life I had dreamt of. It was real. It was filled with arguments, disagreements, and “battles”, followed by apologies, make-ups and a stronger relationship than before.
My husband can infuriate me like no other. Then, he makes me giggle when I just want to be mad, which only fuels my childish anger even more. He does things that completely shock me (like buying the house I loved without telling me so that it would be a surprise). He goes out of his way to help with the kids so that I can have a few minutes to myself. He is not afraid to call me out when I’m doing something completely stupid, and is completely (and often brutally) honest with me about everything. He loves our kids with an intensity that makes me love him more. He is very humble and will probably be annoyed at me for writing all of this.
I sometimes think back to my dreams when we were engaged. I remember the perfect life I had envisioned and I realize just how boring that would have been. I love this man exactly how he is, and I love the life we have built together.
In the last ten years we have lived in nine different houses. We have had four amazing babies, born in four different states. We have fought over ridiculous things about a million and two times, and have come out stronger a million and two times. Ten years into it and I still get school-girl butterflies when I see his truck pull into the driveway each evening. I’m still sad to see him leave and excited to see him come home each day. I still think he looks dreamy in his uniform, though I roll my eyes often, knowing I’m the one who will have to wash it.
Proverbs 31: 10, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.”
It seems that, in our current culture, it is far more difficult to find a virtuous man. Men are being emasculated at a ferocious pace. What will be left when my girls are grown and ready to settle down?
I thank God every day that He sent me this man. A man who models to our girls what they should look for in a husband. A man who teaches our boys how to treat women. A man who stands up for his beliefs and is ready at any moment to protect his family. A man who respects women, disciplines his children in love and isn’t afraid of hard work.
He is a real man. REAL, but not perfect. He tickles me until I laugh so hard I cry, (knowing full well I HATE that) but then he follows up a few days later with a random text message in the middle of the day saying only “Thanks for saying ‘Yes’.”
He isn’t always great about paying attention to me when I talk, leaving me frustrated and ready to just walk away, but, he makes an effort to put his phone away on date night because he knows how much that means to me. He makes fun of my music choices and mismatched socks then buys me coffee (which he hates) out of the blue, or hides random gifts in the house for me to find.
I’m genuinely enjoying my real life with my real man. Ten years down and a lifetime to go. Happy anniversary to us! =)